Mumbles... Grumbles... Stumbles...

Been wondering lately (probably due to current mood swings and lack of rest), I never involve my besties in any of my activities. Well, I do inform them, but somehow, we are friends not through these portfolio. Here's my argument:

1. I am involve with the Counseling Services Centre in IIUM. Granted, I joined way before I met Waji and Miera, and i did try to invite Sofia to join. But in reality, this is my activity which I do alone, with other peer members, but not my besties.

2. Sports. I decided and wanted to do sports because I know I cannot keep still. Granted, Waji do basketball and dancing, but we didn't meet due to this instance either. And neither did anyone came to support my games (yep, had my bluey moments. Of course friends from the hockey team supported me, the boys Din and Zul, and all the other girls. Guess I shouldn't really complain. Even my roommates did not come to watch my final match - guess it was coz of the rain) And when I was in school too, Jme and the rest of the gang were not active on the fields. I was the one who like to play in the rain, getting soaked wet, or running in the middle of the day, getting burnt to crisp.

3. Writing. Granted, Miera and Waji are better writers than I am. Yet, this semester is killing our creative mind. Plus, got acquainted wif Ifran, a writer who actually publish his works. I don't think I will, except for very few, general topic ones. I was always for my blue period (Lilo and Stich)

4. Opinions. Yep, this one is mine alone, although I have met a few who share some of the same views. Here, I share some similar views wif Jun and Ifran.

5. My artistic (or rather non artistic) flair. Haha.. I shared this with sir Jo the other day, mentioning that I am not really in the creative process, more on the technical stuff. Guess, when you love to take things apart as a kid, you should be doing engineering, not human sciences. I don't really know why I am here yet. Still got stuff to figure out. I suppose this also goes to my next point, which is...

6. Science... Science... Science. Yep, I love science. I just hate the calculation part. I am totally interested in how the Earth moves, how life begins, how things works.. all the hows and whys I can ask, and hopefully be answered in due time. Talk about being a nerd. Goes wif the glasses though.

7. My alone time. Yep, everyone have their moments. Being able to predict them is somewhat scary yet helpful.

8. Tomboy. Yep, I have to admit, I was a so-called one. I don't really admit to it, coz I never really wanted to be a boy, just wanted to do everything that boys can. Climbing trees, jumping off ledges, playing footie and beating the boys team, being good in electronics and woods workshop. Not so much of the Girl Power crap, I just love being rough. Must be in the genes somewhere. Hey, people in NASA, when you find out, just holler me, aite!

9. Freedom. Yep I cherish this the most. No one can control me or take away this part which keeps me sane and alive. Which means... I do what I wanna do, and you can't stop me. And I will take responsibility of the consequences, good or bad.

Ok... here's to another session of Mumbles and Grumbles... Start with some issues, ends with a totally non-connected topic. Yep, and people think they got me figured out. HAH! In your face!
PLrtttTTT... =P

Bye-bye 2010.. Hello 2011..

You know, I didn't want to write anything for the new years and stuff, but since reading 3 posts, all by my lovely, adorable, caring, sometimes nagging friends.. I didn't want to be left out.. Miera, Waji.. you both have made 2010 a year to remember by for a very long time... Isn't it amazing that the 3 of us quoted each other for this very reason.. Studying have never been this much fun and wacky... Thank you for trusting me and being there when i felt lost.. Thank you for accepting me with all my flaws and crazy attics. I love you both so much.

And, towards the very end of 2010, my 'adik' a.k.a Ahmad Ramzani Mohd Salleh was finally solemnized with his long time love interest, and my former roommate, Norpadilah Mahsori. I pray that they will happily build a paradise on this Earth, and be together till the end, and the Hereafter. I have a lot of fond memories with them, especially with adik... and I will treasure those moments.. skang dah laki orang, so xleh la kaco memalam.. hehehheheee...

Anyway, 2010 was a great year. So many fond memories, so many new and exciting experiances and new friendships were made... I pray that 2011 will bring us all closer, and that He blesses all of us with His Grace, Love and Mercy... For Him I live, and to Him I will return. Amin.

Something to ponder upon...

In my last post, at the end, I mentioned that there was another thing that happened during the year. Several in fact.

First, Pak Long passed away during the second week of Ramadhan. It was shock to all the family, but Paksu did mention to Mak that he may not make it to this raya. So raya was a bit mellow, but with the children around, it was cheerful enough.

On the lighter scale, Abg Salahuddin got married and Mu'az had a daughter. So did Abg Munir and Abg Ji had a son. Kak Ijah got married again, so now Adam has a new 'abah'. They look so cute together, and I am truly happy for them.

The final thing that happened, and this set me back a few notch, was when Bapak was admitted to the hospital. I had noticed that he had lost a lot of weight, but I only put it on the fact that he was exercising and left it at that. I found out when Mak called, the day that we were being briefed on the OIC members visiting IIUM, and the Communication dept was given the task to interview the delegates. I was chosen, along with Miera and the Practicum class to interview the guests. Of course I dropped out, and rushed to the hospital. Waji drove me, and Miera came along. It was devastating and I couldn't hold back my tears.

You know, we all have heard and seen death. We have seen people we know pass away. But the moment we had to endure it for ourselves, we realise how hard it is to face seeing the future without their presence in our lives. And as for Bapak, he is the father, the leader of the family, the ground for which we, as the family, hold on to and feel where we belong. To loose him .... To even think of loosing him... I know I have to accept it as the fact of life, but for now, I want to deny it at all cost. To say to myself that he will get better. That he will live on. But the fact remains, that he was diagnosed with liver failure, and anything to do with liver failure, it's all downhill from there. Pak Long was diagnose with the same failure.

But I guess for now, I thank Allah for giving us a heads up. For giving us time so that we can spend the remaining days together. For giving us the opportunity to rectify our ways. For showing us that there is more to US than meets the eye. So I take all the time blessed to us, and use it as wisely as possible, so that when the time comes, there will be no regrets. Please Allah, helps Us and guide Us in Our journey towards finding Your Blessing... Amin...

A closing to another year... so much to recap...

2010 is almost nearing the end. In fact it's already a couple of days into the new Hajj year... so much has happened this year. Friendship. Love. Heartache?.. Haha.. so much that I don't even know where to begin, so I guess from the top would be a good idea...

1. New Friends! Namely Amierah and Wajihah. We were all loners through our own, twisted list of events, so hooking up was no big a deal. All three Electronic Media specialization, we agreed to have the same classes for sem2, which was FCQS, Statistics and ICC... Loads of memories there.

2. Hockey
Played hockey again, as the goalkeeper (again) for Mahallah Asma'. The decided to challenge myself and signed up for the IIUM Mustang Hockey team. Training, which was almost every night, was strenuous and tiring. Had a couple of friendly matches with the Army ladies, went to KL Open and of course went to MASUM. I didn't get to play for MASUM, all due for the fact that I didn't go for the week long intense training before the tournament. Come to think of it, I trained most days, but didn't get to play in any of the tournaments, only the friendly matches. Well, after sem3, I quit. Not because I didn't get to play, but as I promised myself that it my pointers were low, I will quit, thus => Me Quit.

3.PEERS/Counseling
No, I didn't went for counseling, although some people might say I need them. Of course I was involve with the counseling dept in IIUM as a Peers member since sem1 last year. We were supposed to graduate, but since in sem2 there was no new intake, we had to go on for another semester, which I didn't mind really coz I always hang out there to de-stress myself or to study. The counseling dept is like my second study area. Anyway, in March, we had the nationwide Peers Seminar. As the host, Peers IIUM are given the honour to be emcees for each segment of the three days event. We were trained to speak, in MALAY I tell you, with all the protocols of a formal event. It was really an amazing experience for me and the rest of those who were involved. I was also assigned as the transport committee, thus I handled all the transport requirements from the hostels to the hall, even for the outing. This event was the reason I had to skip the week long intense training for hockey. Yep, it was a hell of 2 weeks and it wasn't over.

4. Low CGPA
So, that was what happened during the early part of the year, until the end of the short semester. The sad part is that my grades went down. I usually keep a CGPA of 3.0, but during these two semesters, my pointers went below to 2.9. That gave me the goosebumps, and a was also an element on my decision to quit the hockey team.

The holidays were pretty dull. I just spent most of it on the net watching Criminal Minds.. haha... Then came semester1, which was also my third year in IIUM.

5. Peers Dinner
Haha.. FINALLY! Our graduation. I know most of us were glad that it was finally over, so that they could get on with their campus lives. Me, I was the project manager for the dinner. I was glad that we got to host it all by ourselves. We managed to do it at Kunang-Kunang Restaurant, not far off from IIUM. It was great, I had help from Zainab to be our photographer, and there was surprise for Kak Dina, that we thought off at the end of our performance. We had a rose each to present to her, as a token of our appreciation for all her hard work in guiding us and taking care of us, just like a big sister. I do love having her around, which was why I was not reluctant at all to help out with the Peers 14th batch.

6. Graduation
No, I did not graduate. But several of my friends did, namely Zainab, Maiza, Mariam, Ayub and a few other I don't seem to remember right now. Anyway, there was a chocolate fair at KAED Gallery, and I bought some chocs to share with more new friends.

7. Theatre, and More New Friends
Waji and Miera invited me to join their theatre production in sem1. It was called NeoN Production, and ours was a dance theatre. Since girls can't dance or since in IIUM performances, we got to audition some boys to play the lead roles. Fadzriq, Ifran and Junaidi were chosen as the main character and his buddies, whilst there was Epul, Heykal and Laila as the supporting actors. Zubie and Hafiz were my Prop people, we had makeup and Aqilla and Anith on wardrobe. They are the coolest people to work with, fun of laughter and fun. Laila, who played 'Mak Hana' won the 'Best Supporting Actress Award' and our production won SECOND place overall!. Not bad for a first try. We celebrated by breaking fast together. Waji has yet to give Laila her trophy! Now, we are thinking of joining the Nusantara, the Malay theatre competition this coming semester.
Now, about new friends. It is officially the first time me, Miera and Waji were observing the fasting month together as friends. And the new friends who we seem to like to hang out with are Ifran Yazid and Junaidi Abidin.. I suppose you can say that we like their company. They're cool, helped us with our other assignment which was for video, along with some of the other NeoN members. We even went to Ifran's house for Raya, and celebrated our birthdays together by going too watch a play at KLPac last November.

8. Video and CMC Assignments
Ok, so me and Miera took Video Production class together. Sir Wan was the lecturer, obviously. It was cool coz we had to shoot a PSA for the MUFORS Road Reels competition. I don't think we won anything but the experience was priceless. I get to play around with the lightings and the cameras on set, Miera directed it. We had Aqiel as lead cameraman and me and Miera did the editing. The shooting part was a whole load of fun. As mentioned before, the NeoN crew came to help out as cast and extra crew members. We had such a laugh and Bahiroh snapped pictures all the way with her lovely camera. Editing was torturous and strenuously tiring. Spent the entire week at Miera's house for the editing part, and Waji came sometimes to bother us and took us off track.. haha which we very much appreciated.
For CMC, Waji, Miera and me were in the same group. We had to build a network empire using our product. Aaaanndd... our chosen 'product' was of course NeoN Production itself. We did think of creating a Facebook page, but with this assignment we went further to create a blog, a Twitter and a Youtube site too. It was cool, looking back at all those photos and videos while we posted them up on our site.. hehe... miss those times.

9. The Most Awesomeness Roommates
This is soooooooooo true. Nobody has the coolest roommates as mine, and I'm not sharing.. Haha.. They were there to listen to my rambling. They were there to provide me with comfort of sisterhood. They understood my crazy schedule and activities and were there to support me all the way. They helped me to manage myself, and I really mean this. They organised and cleaned up my room when it looked like it had been struck by a tornado (and they did this several times, which, I don't think they know it, but made me cry.. all the time).. They were always there, to care, to share, to remind and joke around. All in all, I thank Allah for blessing me with such wonderful roommates and may He bless them all with His Gracious and Mercy, all their lives. Amin...

10. Grade Finally UP
With all that hustle and havoc going on in my life, I managed to reach my target goal of getting back my CGPA to above 3.0. Not quite there to reach a 3.3, but a little bit helps a long way. Now all I have to do is to manage my study time and reach for a higher GPA this semester. Yeay!

Oh, one more thing happened towards the end of the year, during Ramadhan and after that, but I will write that in my next post.

Friends... and a concert

Yeah... So, it has been quite a while.. Loads of things happened, as usual, but never do I feel like typing like I feel it right now, in HS laptop area, hanging with my friends, waiting for them to buzz of to their individual classes, coz I do not have a class till 3.30pm and I don't feel like doing my assignments coz it's too mind-blowingly annoying and I am sleepy...

The fact is, as I always stress, I feel weird typing bout my life, coz nobody cares anyway... But, I feel like typing, so here I am typing, with on and off glance at my proposal paper.

So, back to the story. what happened over the month or so...

After our theatre debute project, we ( by this I mean, Miera, Waji and me) just got busy. We had to complete the CMC assignment which was to create a blog, and ultimately an online empire of a product or whatever. So we, being humble and modest we are, decided to further our NeoN venture, and created a blog, a facebook page, twitter and a youtube site, all anout NeoN... yeah, cool... and since that, we have had feedbacks from the NeoNites (forced!)... and me and Miera are also busy with our video project, which we finally decided to seek the help of our BELOVED NEONITES to be our cast and extra crew! Yeah, we love them THAT much, and can never let go of them....

Anyway, during Raya, we managed to make our way to Iffy's house.. when I say this, I do mean manages as we were stuck in Ranger (Waji's car) for more than 1 1/2 hours! Yeah! Imagine.... But it was a really cool, unforgettable experience all together... I don't think I can ever erase it from my mind.. It is engraved there, PERMANENTLY! With the 'I spy' game, cookie fights, beautiful house and lawn, the mirror, and CHOCOLATES!!!

Haha.. amazing rite... yeah... well, to top it all off, WE got tickets to the Palestine concert in UIA, and Maher Zain was and invited guest! Tho he sang only two song, but I believe it was the highlight of the evening, including the double act of Mu'az and Shinji.. I loved his rapping, and I am now a fan..???... Hahaha...

Dr Spencer Reid, in CMC class!!!

The most amazing thing, which I didn't expect or anticipate, EVER, was that there was a showing of CRIMINAL MINDS in CMC class!!!! So out of this world... and I quote Miecha "N u thot its juz in ur wildest dreams huh xD"

CMC, or Computer Mediated Communication, started of with a lecturer who was so intense in decreasing the number of very determined 3rd and 4th year students from taking her class. A class which starts at the early hours of 8.30 a.m, theoretically functions on the presumption that after taking the initial freezing drop of aqua from the dormitory shower, will keep us awake in class (or so it should). A class that got me up so early, that even light was not yet visible through my 'state of the art' window. A class with so much note taking, that at the end, I barely realised I had fingers.

But that was only the first 2 weeks. As time proceed, there were a definite improvement in our lecturer's reaction to class, and joking around was considered possible.. Not so much laa.. She did try to organise a class trip to, get this, Les Copaque and KRU, but standard UIA charges even students to use the transport facilities... at RM 800, our anticipation was washed away.

Anyhuuu... for Ramadhan, the month of Bless, our lecturer proposed a viewing of three 'pictures', which involve a movie, a documentary and a TV series (Criminal Minds) for class, a break from note taking. The part that obviously would be understood is that these three 'pictures' will be questioned in our Midterm, but that is till later date, after Raya.

The first was a movie about a computer game coming to life, which I missed coz I was not feeling to good. The second was a documentary on the consequences of the chat room, which actually lead to murder... don''t want to explain. And the third is about the effect social networking sites, such as... dum di dum.. Facebook...

It started off creepy, and I was kinda excited. Then I saw the CBS logo at the bottom, and mentioned to my friend, Waji, that I bet it was Criminal Mind (!) And lo behold, IT WAS!!! That was when my smile grew bigger, my eyes grew wider and my heart grew happy.... O HAPPY DAYS...

Imagine having Dr Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia, the hunk Morgan, Agent Prentiss, Jareau, Hotch and Rossi 'in front' of my eyes... The fact that I have seen the episode before did not affect my blood from happily pumping away at the excitement... My envy for Reid's ingenuity, Garcia's witty comments, the charm of Morgan, Hotch, Rossi, JJ and Prentiss, plus all those 'psychological' term used in the scripts just brought me near to tears.... Thus I am here right now, after class... documenting my "Happiness" to the whole world, knowing for the fact, that there may be a psychopath keeping tabs.... Wooooooooooo.....

How My Life Was Moved...

So, this is the end of the first month (!) into the new semester. I know right, it seems like forever has passed by... Anyway, like my previous post, I had described my goings on throughout my four weeks into my third years of studies, which I also would say my 25th year of living on this beautiful earth...

Weeks went by. Laughter were shared. Tears were shed. And prayers were made. Tears? Why? Coz of all the BEAUTIFUL SOULS who have touched my life and made it just lovingly perfect... I would like to dedicate this post to all who, because of them, if ever I were to die right now, I know I can go peacefully.

First of all, to my beloved room mates cum adorable sisters, I would like to thank you all from the deepest love in my heart. During my two weeks with the theatre training, my days/nights were full. rehearsals were till midnight, and sometimes way later. So, there one weekend when I had the chance to wash my clothes, but as rehearsal ran late, as usual, I didn't have the chance to hang them... Coming back, I was shocked to see them already hanged, by non other than my beloved room mates. I was speechless, so heartfelt that I actually cried on the praying mat. They are just the awesomeness room mates anyone could ever have... Then, again yesterday they surprised me by actually tidying up my room! Yes, I admit it was messy, and after I took my clothe rack to be used by my wardrobe people, my bed was covered with clothes. When I came back, they had arrived (they came back from the performance before me), and when I entered my compartments, it was "shockingly" tidy... Again I was so touched... and again I emphasize that they are the best room mates anyone could ever ask for... they understood me, and my involvements in various activities, and are very supportive, always ready to lend their ears if ever I had to let out my grief and strife.

Second, to the most Wonderful, Beautiful, Amazingly Dedicated, Totally Talented, Hardworking, Adorably Hilarious and Wacky cast and crew of NEON PRODUCTION, I thank you from the deepest gratitude of my heart. The wonderful memories stored in my natural 'hard drive' will forever be unmeasurable...
Now, what was it that was so special? It's bcoz they were as my above colourful statement has emphasized, they were just THAT AWESOME... although they moan and groaned as rehearsal ran into the wee hours in the morning, although they were all tired after a whole day packed with classes, although they were sick of the three of us rampaging and ordering around their lives like nobody else's business... they still came back to practice, night in night out... (maybe they just like being around us.. haha.. naaahh..). With all that said, how could you not LOVE these bunch of beautiful people... They were kids, full of enthusiasm, full of life and definitely full of cracks (emm...).. which got us (Wajie, Miera and me) all cracking up and hyper and spirited... It was also a chance of a lifetime for me to be in a theatre production (behind the scenes).