Just write..

"The key to writing is, to start writing. Don't think, just write." from the movie, Finding Forrester.

And write i shall, but what should i write? I realised that usually I write when I am emotional or depressed. But lately, I have not been either long enough to write something. Then again, I usually just jot down some stanzas which sometimes rhyme, and most of the time do not. Being sleep deprived lately, out of my own doing (blaming the World Cup will not do me any good here), watching matches or replay of matches in the early mornings, I was hoping to be inspired whilst my mind is in numbness. Not happening either. Maybe being too actively playing games on Shockwave has dumbed my mind. But I only play the mind challenging games, not all time, but mostly. My favourite is Bloxorz (I think that is how it is spelt). It's a puzzle, the key is to get the peg into the given hole, readjusting it so it drops down perfectly. Confused? You should try it first instead of eating my words. As I am following the quote above, I am not really thinking on what I am writing. I am just letting my fingers flow whichever way it wants to.

I am not good at composition. My teacher in school once commended me on my exciting opening to an essay assignment, but then it went flat in the middle and even before you reach the end, all the air was out. I think my best achievement so far in Composition is for my SPM paper. at that time, even with the stress, I believe God sent his angels to help me. That morning, ink was flowing out of my pen onto paper without much thought. The idea was brief and the plot was simple. Just describe a day with your family or something like that. As it is, I prefer fictional characters to real life ones. The results were amazing, I believe, as I was satisfied with it. There were some grammatical errors, but hey, I didn't actually had time to recheck them after I finished my story. And because of that, I only got an A2 for my 1119 (essay assessment). But I was still happy and proud, yet sadly, for exams at that level, you will never get your paper back, no matter how good it was. I wanted to know what the evaluation was, so that I could improve on it. Try as I may, I could never write back that essay, even if I know the whole plot. I'm a one of person in most cases, which also includes movies, books and people. Hmmm... I will, with my new fighting spirit, and six entries this month, try to recreate the essay as I really want it for my keeps. :)

So, here I am at the end of my rambling and babbling, ranting and raving. I will stop here, as this exercise is pointless when I am sleepy. Yet, that is also one of the times when my ideas would want to flow as easy as the river. Man, can't it come at a better time at all? My ideas would come at the least, most inappropriate moments. I mean, when I am sleepy, when I have just shut down the computer, when I do not have anything to write on of write with, and even when I am in the toilet(!). How exasperating is that? Then, when i have the opportunity and the necessary means to write, my mind just acts as it never existed at all. Frustrated? Yes! Annoyed? Definitely! Down right maddening? Extremely! How do you supposed girl a to write when this sort of stuff happens all the time?!